A Family That Stays Together, Prospers Together

Today, I wish to share a real-life story of one of my clients — not to criticize anyone, but to awaken all of us as parents and grandparents. Sometimes, without realizing it, we unknowingly become the reason for our children’s struggles. This story is a reminder that good intentions without responsibility can silently destroy families.

It begins with a young man in his early thirties who got married. Like many Indian families, soon after the wedding, the pressure started — “When are you giving us a grandchild?” At that time, the couple was not financially settled. The man was still building his career, and the fear of raising a child without financial stability worried him deeply.

Yet, out of respect and emotional pressure from aging parents, the couple agreed to plan a baby. What they were never told was, “We will not help you in raising the child.” After the child was born, reality struck hard. The grandparents chose not to participate in any caregiving — no support, no responsibility, no emotional involvement. However, they were always ready to criticize every small mistake made by two inexperienced young parents who had no guidance or support.

As if this was not enough, another decision changed the dynamics of the family. The grandmother, noticing that many grandparents were helping with school pick-ups and drop-offs, asked the grandfather to stop using his two-wheeler and car citing his age and eyesight — fearing that their son and daughter-in-law might ask him for help with the child. This decision slowly robbed the grandfather of his independence and confidence. From being self-reliant, he became dependent. Even the small expense of traveling by auto or taxi became a calculated burden. Eventually, his health deteriorated, and he became bedridden.

Life took another difficult turn when the young man lost his job. Anyone who understands the private sector knows that job stability is never guaranteed. Yet, instead of support and encouragement, he was looked down upon by his own parents instead of offering him help and mental support. The pressure, negativity, and constant criticism slowly poisoned the family environment. The grandparents began speaking ill about both the son and the daughter-in-law.

Hoping that time would heal wounds, the man waited. But the situation only worsened. Ultimately, the young man made the painful decision to protect his and his wife’s dignity to separate and live independently. Yet the world criticised him for leaving his aged parents not knowing they were the root cause of his painful decision.

Now, look at the consequences.

Earlier, five people lived under one roof. Expenses were shared. Rent, groceries, electricity, municipal taxes, and domestic help were all divided. Today, two families are maintaining two separate homes. Rent has doubled. Grocery bills have increased. Two maids are required instead of one. Electricity minimum charges are paid twice. Municipal taxes are duplicated. What was once manageable has now become a heavy financial burden — all because of avoidable stubbornness and lack of cooperation.

I say this not as an outsider, but as a father myself.

As parents and grandparents, our responsibility is not just to give advice — it is to create stability, security, and growth for our children. Either we help them reduce their expenses, or we help them increase their income. In today’s 21st century, a family cannot progress on a single income alone. They may survive, but they cannot live a quality life.

We often admire developed countries like the United States, where every capable family member works. Yet, in our own homes, we hesitate to allow the same thinking. Ironically, we expect a daughter-in-law to stay at home, sacrificing a potential salary of ₹50,000–₹60,000 per month, while paying a maid ₹12,000. Economically, the smarter decision is obvious — let her work, earn, grow, and empower herself, while also supporting another household through employment. Everyone benefits.

This is a sincere appeal to all parents and grandparents:
Do not pressure young couples into parenthood before they are financially ready. Do not block their growth. Do not make their journey harder. Instead, support them, guide them, encourage them, and empower them.

Plan your retirement in advance. Plan your medical needs in advance. If you have surplus resources, share them generously with your children. Families are not built on control — they are built on cooperation, care, and understanding.

You have lived your life. Let them build theirs with dignity and stability.

A family that truly supports each other — emotionally, financially, and morally — will not only stay together but will prosper together in this era of rising inflation and increasing challenges.

Because in today’s world, everyone must earn, everyone must contribute, and everyone must stand together to live a quality life.